Random Conversations
by Tifa Kori Kana
Summary: If us two were in the world of Fruits Basket, this is a parody of what would happen-or possibly the truth, depends on how you look at it. WARNING: SEXUAL THEME, SWEARING, NOT FOR KIDS


**Kori: This is what would happen if our two OCs went into the Fruits Basket universe-its and all dialogue story**

**Tifa: We don't own Fruits Basket**

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><p>This is idiotic. I may be blind but I'm not <em>that <em>blind, you bitch

well I happen to like big words. it's easier for _me _ to read. sniffle. You insensitive bitch, you

Legasp! Such bad words for a girl who wants to fuck a zodiac! And to think I even called Kagura for you! What kind of friend are you, you slut ass whore?

i know you are, but what am i?  
>That is the oldest joke in the book, you idiot. And btw, the only thing I am is fucking Yuki... oh shit... did I say that outloud? And now you know and I can't erase it. FUCK! This sucks!<p>

I already knew. Duh. soooo, any other ackward conversations I should know about that you've had with my ex?  
>He asked me if I play with myself, once. Then confessed his undying love to his girlfriend. Then asked if I've seen you naked, then asked what vagina's taste like... this is <em>such <em>a pg rated conversation, huh?

Yeah... he asked my if I shave my vagina once too. and confessed his love for his girlfriend. I'm so relieved he's not doing that to me anymore.

Lucky! Every other text it's 'I love Bethany this' and 'I love Bethany that' it almost feels like he's trying to make me jealous or something.

Oh, no, he's still doing that to me too, but I'm just glad he isn't saying stuff to me like 'i wanna marry you' 'i love you' and 'i wanna spend the rest of my life with you!' sooooo glad he got another gf

Yeah, me too. It used to be every other text he'd send to me was 'I miss Lulu.' or 'I still love Lulu' or 'Please see if Lulu will take me back' and I was like 'Shut the fuck up, dude! I already got the two of you together, once! My work is done!'

oh, look, bethany has just come up for the second time in our like, five minute conversation. Seriously, if he's tryimg to make me jelous or somethign it's sooo not working!

I can tell. You're just eating your hot tamales and texting him... ON MY PHONE! I WANT A HOT TAMALE AND MY PHONE! GIVE THEM TO ME!

Fine, i'll give you your phone back, I'm bored with the convo anywho. BUT DON'T EVEN THINK OF TOUCHING MY HOT TAMALES BITCH!

I'll bet the readers can just tell we're best friends... fine, no hot tamales on one condition.

well, it takes true closeness to yell at each other and laugh. Besides, I swear a lot fucking worse than a sailor. you know that! I get it from my mom! Just today she cussed out some guy who cut her off, then cut him off. What condition? It depends...

I want some water...

... do i look like your maid? In case you forgot, it's you who should be getting _me _ the water here. K?

GET ME SOME FUCKING WATER, LULU!

HOW ABOUT YOU GET ME SOME FUCKING WATER, RANI! or, you know what, i'll go get you some water... brb

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR! IT'S YOUR HOUSE, ANYWAY... wait... this is bad. SHE ONLY FILLED UP ONE GLASS! THEN SHE DRANK OUT OF IT! YOU KNOW ME, LULU! I NEED AT LEAST TWO GALLONS TO QUENCH MY THIRST! OH OH OH! I HAVE A HILARIOUS FANFIC I GATTA SHOW YOU!

i know about your water addiction, but damnit, i'm not your slave. and I love doing that to people. tehe... anyways, what fanfic?  
>Here, let me show you...<p>

{One fanfic latyer}

awww! that is sooo cute! Sigh, if I were kyoko, I would totally have gotten with ren by now. I mean seriously? all that sexual tension can't be good for you.

YAAAY HOT TAMALES! MAYBE YOU AREN'T A SOULESS DEVIL WOMAN!

can I still be a demon? Oh, and btw, do you think the readers have figured out we're sitting right next to each other?

Well, I should hope so, since you just gave me hot tamales, otherwise, they are seriously idiots... no offence readers! Actually... YUKI! TAKE OFFENCE TO THIS AND THEN GET PISSED AT ME!

Yuki:I don't see how this conversation canserns me, Rani-san. -goes back to reading his totally smutless-and thus somewhat less interesting- novel-

BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO GET PISSED AT ME! YOU... YOU... DAMMIT! WHAT DOESN'T GET PISSED AT ME?

you should give up. ps, you could call him a rat. i call him rat boy when he irrates me, which is never, cause i have a sick infatuation with him(i blame hatsuharu), but i love his brother more, cause snake of no, aya is one hot peice of meat! ;D

*whispers* Wait, that means I get Yuki?

yup. if i get hatsu(who's mine anyways, cause he's my zodiac) and aya(cause i want a slave who can make me clothes)

You mean smutty clothes... and, great! *grabs Yuki and drags him into the bedroom*

well, yes, but i was also talking about realistic looking cosplay outfits. *drags ayame into a dressing room, comes out wearing a slutty kimono, then drags him into the bedroom*

*comes out of bedroom, fixing her shirt* Leaving him high and dry has gatta make him pissed at m-*notices Lulu left* Where the hell did that whore go?

*comes out of bedroom looking satisfied and wearing aya's clothes* yup, it's official, we've mastered the quickie. So did it work?

I dunno, we should be seeing here, soon... *looks at bedroom door, expectantlly*

Yuki: *Yuki walks out, half dressed with a bulge in his pants* Come back to bed, please? *Gives rani puppy dog eyes she can't resist. the two go back in the bedroom, and a little while later yuki walks ut satisfied.* It really isn't that hard to get some from her...

SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE JUST LUCKY YOU HAD THE REESES PEANUT BUTTER CUP BLIZZARD, OR I WOULDN'T HAVE COME BACK AT ALL, YOU RAT!

*exits the bedroom once more, this time with aya _and _ hatsu.* Please, please, rani. you know you want him. and that shake. okay, you want to lick the shake off him. yeah, i'll stick with that.

How the hell did you know that's what we did with the shake? Were you spying on us, you pervert? Jeez, get your own every once in a while!

no, actually, hatsu knew that yuki likes getting licked and told me, and i know you like ice cream and reeses as much as sex, so i figured you'd mixed. i was right. and in just this fic, i've done aya twice and hatsu once, and damn right, it was a threesome.

I DON'T NEED THE FUCKING DETAILS, YOU SLUT! GOD, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A PERVERT, DOESN'T MAKE ME ONE! NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA ON HOW TO GET YUKI PISSED AT ME! *dials a number on cellphone and storms out* YEAH, I NEED A GLASS OF POLYJUICE POTION AND A LOCK OF KYO'S HAIR!

k, first of, that wasmy plan. second, you just blew the idea. yuki knows now.

Fuck... hmmm... :) YUKI, NO MORE SEX UNTIL YOU GET PISSED AT ME!

Yuki: That saddens me Rani, it seems i'll have to take my sexual frustrations out on Haru then *meanwhile Haru cheers*

WTF! NO! *jumps on Yuki's back* BACK OFF, OX! HE'S MINE!

I never said I wanted yuki! oh, wait i kinda did earlier, didn't i? anyways, haru isn't allowed to do anyone with out my permission, so you're good.

And you couldn't have told me that, before I flushed that plan down the toilet, as well?

*ignores Rani* Haru, love, feel free to do yuki, as long as I can watch.

*glares* C'MON, YUKI! I HAVE A COPY OF THE KAMA SUTRA! LET'S DO EVERY POSITION THEY HAVE! *drags him back into the bedroom*

I actually think that's physically impossible. you can't orgasim like, i can't remember if it's seven or twelve times in a row, but, you can't otherwise your heart'll give out. How do you thing inccubi and succubi kill? They literally wear you out to death.

I DIDN'T MEAN ALL IN ONE NIGHT, SLUT! GOD, YOU RUINED, THE MOMENT, NOW! I'M GOING TO GO GET AN OREO BLIZZARD THAT I CAN ACTUALLY EAT OUT OF THE CUP, THIS TIME!

okay, but can you leave that book here? I wanna go through the book again. I lost my copy... too bad, I had all my notes in it. And I went through that book three times too!

No, we're all going. Huber works at Dairy Queen now, so I'm scared to go alone. He needs to see that I'm taken! *grabs Yuki* Plus, you can kill him if he tries to make a move on me, since Yuki probably won't.

fine. what do you say to ice cream, my darling sex slaves?

The Sex Slaves(Hatsu&Aya): Yaaay!

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME FRUIT CAKE! *pushes them all out*

Now remember kids! Please try this at home!

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><p><strong>Kori BTW, my oc was Rani, obviously. She was the best character. P.S, my zodiac is the year of the rat, and Tifa's is the year of the ox. And we do call each other Ox, Rat, Hatsuharu and Yuki in real life.<strong>


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